Monday, January 21, 2008 - Update

You smell kinda funny, Jimmy Skunk.

Yes, Spotty the Turtle. . .you are my BEST friend!

Olivia and her Woodland Creature Friends

My latest idea is a clothing line with the premature baby in mind. Olivia has so many outfits that she is going to outgrow before she can wear them. Most premature babies have a monitor with leads or patches that have cords attached to them. Buttoned footed sleepers provide the best outlet for these cords. Footed pants require the wire to go up her leg and out her back which isn't too bad. Regular pants (with no feet) require socks and those are hard to get on because of the lead on her foot. Zippered sleepers are entirely out because the cord would have to come out by her neck which I would consider a safety hazard. These are probably things that only a mother of a preemie would think of. I'm thinking of cutting little slits in the feet of her zippered sleepers.

Olivia's Cousins - Part Two

Rebekah Northrop Glunt, 5 years

Favorite Color: Pink

Hobbies: Dance (Ballet, Tap), Homeschool Preschool, BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), AΔΩ (Children’s Choir), Performing in Musicals

Favorite Toy(s): American Girl Dolls, Movies, Littlest Pet Shop, Little People, Furryville, My Little Pony

Name one thing that you want to teach Olivia: I want to teach her how to walk to the bathroom.

Sunday, January 20, 2008 - Update

On Saturday I was able to get a lot of things done around the house. When you're forced to be in the house everyday, it's nice to at least have it clean. Thanks to my dad who watched over Olivia, I was able to get some things done. Ryan had to work again all day, but I believe his deadline for work is coming up soon so he may get his weekends back.

If anyone has experience with the March for Babies (previously Walk-America) I would love to hear about it. Also, if anyone has any questions, feel free to email me. One question I have is whether each individual walker must sign up on the team roster or if, for example, a husband can sign up, but both husband and wife can walk. Does anyone know?

Olivia continues to do well. She is smiling a lot more and observing the world around her. She should be over 8 lbs by now, but we'll know her official weight when she gets her third Synagis shot on the 31st. What a big girl!

March of Dimes - March for Babies

March for Babies on the Olivia and Logan Team
April 26, 2008 - 10:00 am
Sedgwick County Park
6300 W 13th Wichita, KS

Help me raise money to help give babies like myself and my twin brother, Logan, 9 full months in the womb. You can donate money OR sign up for the Olivia and Logan team and walk with me and my family on April 26th! - Olivia

http://www.marchforbabies.org/s_team_page.asp?si=C93834B4-8EB3-49E4-AB78-2935E0C31921&SeId=494975

Saturday, January 19, 2008 - Update

Daddy's Little Wildcat

Mommy's Little Princess

After some very deep soul-searching, I've decided to quit pumping. Nursing went well for awhile, but Olivia has a really hard time transitioning from bottle to breast. I tried a nipple shield that makes it more like a bottle, but she just likes to pull it off. At this time, we have to give Olivia her phenobarb mixed in a bottle, so we can't give up her bottles yet. It's just too difficult to keep feeding her and then pump afterwards when she just wants to be held. I need to get rid of some stress and this seems to be one way to alleviate some. I think Olivia would prefer a relaxed mommy over mommy's milk. It's difficult because I really feel that my milk helped save her life as 23 weekers' digestive systems are not ready to handle formula. It also gave her some antibodies that she didn't get in the last trimester. I always want to do what's best for her and I feel proud that I could pump for almost 5 months. We have a freezer and deep freeze full of frozen milk that she'll still get for some time. But, I tell ya. . . .I'm ready to put my pump away and never see it again for as long as I live.

Tummy Time

Olivia's Cousins - Part One

Isabelle Ann Sailing, 5 months

Favorite Color: My mom tells me it's pink

Hobbies: Laying on belly, spitting up, drooling, checking in on Olivia and looking at her pictures, shaking my rattle, drinking baba and eating peas.

Favorite Toy(s): Baby Einstein Gym and Sing-A-Long Stage

Name one thing you want to teach Olivia: Anything. . .I just can't wait to play with her.

Friday, January 18, 2008 - My dream

The other night I had a dream about Logan. He was crawling around the dining room table pushing a little truck. Then, he climbed up on me and kept saying "mamamama." I remember it so vividly. . .it was so real. In my dream, I got him videotaped and when I woke up I had the urge to check the video camera. I just remember wondering why he was older than Olivia. When I woke up and realized it was just a dream, I wasn't upset. I was actually very comforted and felt grateful to see him. Now that I think about it. . .he did look a lot like Lincoln.

I love you Lambie

Olivia must have her lamb with her whenever it's playtime. She loves to watch it sway to the music.

You've gotta love her facial expressions!

Wednesday, January 15, 2008 - Update

Thank you for all of your words of encouragement and suggestions. The last two days have been a little better. I think it is just a combination of many things getting me down and I'm working on ways to make things better. Does the worry ever go away with a micropreemie? I mean, after RSV season is over, I can't see myself just passing her around to people. Are their immune systems ever similar to full term babies? Is it normal to fear the loss of other people in your life after you've lost someone very special to you? I can't imagine my fears being unfounded, but at the same time. . .I can't live in fear forever.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 Update

Sorry that I haven't gotten a post written until now. I always try to be honest in my posts without delving too far into my personal life. I have just been struggling a bit lately. I am still having problems over Logan's death. I have a fear of losing Olivia and others who mean a lot to me. I am going a little stir crazy because of being cooped up in the house. I haven't really been outside much in months because when Olivia was in the hospital, I went from my garage to the hospital parking garage. I can't get out because public places terrify me. I am afraid of bringing home an illness to Olivia. Plus, I can't hardly bear to be apart from her. I can't spend too much time outside because it's cold and I can't get Olivia out in it. Lack of sleep makes everything a lot worse. Because of all that, I have been struggling and frustrated by not knowing what is wrong. I think everything is catching up to me and I haven't had a chance to really deal with all of it yet. I have decided to get dressed and ready each day even if I don't go anywhere to see if that helps a bit.

Anyway, Rainbows is coming tomorrow afternoon. I believe that it is just to fill out paperwork and then her first evaluation is Feb 6th. I pray that she is developing as she should. I am sure proud of how she's doing. Thanks for listening and your continued prayers.

Sunday, January 13, 2008 - Counting Your Blessings ...

Olivia had fun today impersonating various rock legends.

Elvis. . thank you, thank you very much

Gene Simmons from KISS

Storytime with Mommy

I feel like I have been given the opportunity to raise awareness of not only prematurity, but of infant loss and infertility. Do people understand the intense pain of losing a child? Do people truly understand the pain of infertility? For a second, please think of all of the joys that your children have given you. Those people who suffer with infertility and infant loss are robbed of those joys. I was always taught that I could become anything I wanted to be and found that is not always true if what you wanted to become was a mother. No matter how hard I tried or how much I prayed, it seemed impossible. It didn’t matter that I knew more about the human reproductive system than some medical professionals. As I look ahead, I realize that this is probably my one shot at motherhood and it saddens me that Olivia may not have any siblings . . .at least here on earth. I’m in no way discounting what is possible with God, but I just know how difficult it was for me. I mean, my husband had to give me shots in the stomach. I had weekly doctor visits and had to take progesterone three times a day for the first 13 weeks. I was still only able to carry them until 23 weeks. Not only do I have trouble getting pregnant, but I apparently have difficulty staying pregnant as well. Olivia is truly my dream come true. I still know so many people struggling with their journey to motherhood and I’ll never forget how hard that lonely journey is. A simple baby shower or another baby blessed to someone else was enough to send me into a depression. I think it’s so important to take time in our lives to appreciate the joys that we have, but to also acknowledge those people who struggle to have those same joys. . .whatever they may be. Open your arms and your hearts to them as you have done the past few months to me. I couldn’t have made it through myself without God and the kindness of people like all of you.

Sunday, January 13, 2008 - RSV

I know I talk a lot about RSV, so I thought I would provide some additional information. This year, the Wichita area is one of the hardest hit in the nation. (Of all years and of all places.)

http://www.rsvprotection.com/what_is/what_is.aspx

Saturday, January 12, 2008 - Update

I often wonder why God allows babies to be born so prematurely. They are His children. . .why doesn’t he want to give them the best start at life? I have come to realize that the lives of babies born prematurely strengthen the faith of everyone who knows them. I don’t know how Olivia’s premature birth will affect her life or what issues she will face. I know that she is without her twin brother because of it. As painful as the last few months have been, one can’t just forget about everything and expect premature babies to become like full term babies. You don’t magically get those 17 weeks back. I love Olivia just as she is. That is why I dislike it when people talk about when premature babies should “catch up?” Why should she have to catch up to full term babies born when she was? They started off on different playing fields. She is going to be on her own timetable and I want her to always be proud of her accomplishments. I’ll never know why things happened the way they did, but God has definitely used her and Logan in miraculous ways.

I think Olivia is having a growth spurt right now. She has taken two bottles today that were over 100 ccs. We’ve started putting her in size 1 diapers instead of newborns and she has begun wearing 0-3 month outfits (although they are still a little big.) She’s also smiling a lot more and has begun finding her voice. She grows more beautiful every day

Friday, January 11, 2008 - Update

I would like to say Happy Anniversary to my parents who met on a blind date 39 years ago today. They were set up, my brother and his wife were set up, Ryan and I were set up. . . .I guess we’re unable to find our own spouses. That’s okay because I couldn’t have picked anyone better myself. I also couldn’t ask for better parents and am truly grateful for all they have done for me. I can only hope that someday Olivia will say the same thing about her mom and dad.

Today my rats and I took a trip to the vet and didn’t get very good news. My sweet little rat has an infection around her eye and we are unsure of the cause. We started her on an antibiotic in hopes that will clear the infection. They started talking about tumors and eye removal surgery and I just don’t know how much I can endure. . . . both emotionally, physically and financially. We’ve had a guinea pig go through kidney failure and another with an abscess behind her eye. That was when we had two incomes and didn’t have any children to think about. Debbie, who works at the vet, shares my love of rats and I always enjoy visiting with her. My rats weighed 298 and 320 grams respectively. It really put it in perspective for Debbie when I told her that Olivia weighed 498 grams at birth.

The good news of the day is that I don’t think I’m catching a cold as I feel a lot better today. I don’t know what the cause was. Ryan sent me to bed at 10 pm last night because, as he says, I was “hanging by a thread.” I’m doing better today as I hope all of you are too.

Please keep Kinnick and Carver in your prayers as they are back in Detroit having surgery to help save their vision. I know it’s been very stressful for them and their family and I ask for continuous prayers for all of them

Thursday, January 10, 2008 - Update

Today was supposed to be a nice enjoyable day for me. Ryan’s mom came over to watch Olivia while I went out and ran some errands. I actually did my hair, got dressed and everything. I had to go to the post office, return some Christmas items and visit Logan’s grave. I also stopped by the bank to open a savings account for Olivia (before her dad and I spent some of her Christmas money.) Well, I got to the bank and they asked for her social security number. I rattled it off and they questioned if it was accurate. I called Ryan to confirm it. . .maybe I didn’t memorize it as well as I thought. I was, however, correct and the guy at the bank then tells me he shows that number was issued in 2006. Basically, it seems someone else has that number. Ryan later called the social security office to confirm her number and they show it issued only to Olivia. Maybe this is just a tiny glitch, but I’m hoping it doesn’t turn into a huge issue. I don’t want someone else out there using her number. I now have to go back to the bank with her social security card and have the bank call the social security office. Maybe it was a blessing that we went to open the savings account because otherwise this issue would have never been brought to our attention. I hope it gets resolved quickly.

I finally got home and went downstairs to check on my little furry babies. I noticed one of my rat’s eyes has discharge and is really swollen. This scares me because last year one of our guinea pigs had an abscess behind her eye and had to have her eye removed. The fluid kept building up and they had to keep re-opening the incision to drain it. During her third surgery, she didn’t wake up from the anesthesia. I know that the great lengths we go to help our animals may sound silly to some, but that is just who I am. Lucy (my other rat) and her are the very best of friends and if something happened to one of them, the other one would be devastated. Rats are very social creatures. So, my poor rat has a vet appt tomorrow which means Ryan’s mom has to come over to watch Olivia. To top off my day, I feel as if I might be catching a cold. . .and this terrifies me. We’ve tried so very hard to keep Olivia safe and healthy. I don’t know what to do. . .I have to be here to take care of her. I have just been washing my hands very thoroughly (but, I’ve always done that) and I haven’t been getting too cuddly with her. Please pray that I’m not getting sick and this is only allergies. I’m just a wreck over this.

The one good thing to report is that Olivia slept last night from midnight to 5 am. . .by herself. . .in her crib. I was so very proud of her and hope the trend continues. Please pray that tomorrow is a little better day for me.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008 - Update

Izzy


Olivia got to spend some special time with grandma today and I’m so grateful to Ryan’s mom for helping us out. Last night, Olivia and I worked on sleeping in her crib. After her feeding, I put her in her crib and she seemed to do okay as long as she had her night-light (to see that baby in the mirror) and her pacifier. The problem is that sometimes she starts sucking so aggressively that her pacifier comes out. I wait a few seconds. . .and then she cries so I get up and put it back in. It went on like this for about 2 hours. Finally, it was time for her to eat again, so I turned on the light and left to get a bottle ready for her. When I came back, she was fast asleep. It was then that I realized it was a bit chilly in our house. We had this trouble a few days ago, so I had to go in and wake Ryan up at 2:00 am to fix it. (I’m clueless when it comes to anything like that.) He got the heat going again and today we had our heating and cooling guy come out (Kirk’s Comfort Air. . . .I highly recommend them) and hopefully we don’t have any problems anymore. Anyway, so Olivia slept until almost 5:00 am in her crib by herself. We have, like the latest commenter suggested, placed her on her tummy to sleep from time to time. I know that’s a big no-no, but we only do it when she’s hooked up to the monitor. She likes to sleep with her face laying on her hands and she just can’t do that on her back. Also, when she’s sleeping she likes her arms tucked in, but she wants them out the second that she wakes up. Boy, does she get angry when she can’t find her arms!

I don’t have any pictures of Olivia today, so I thought I would leave you with a few pictures of Olivia’s adorable cousin, Izzy.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008 - Update

I don’t have too much time to write tonight. Olivia is doing well, but we’re finding it hard to get her to sleep in her crib. I think she’s getting a little too used to sleeping with me at night. This is not allowing me to sleep at night and undoing all of my chiropractor’s hard work. (I can only sleep in a chair for so long.) It’s hard because if I could, I would hold her every second of every day. We’re struggling with this right now.

We also found out that Logan’s marker finally came in. We ordered it in October and it took a lot longer than the 6-8 weeks we were told. We go in Saturday to review it and they should have it out by next week. Finally. . .I’ve hated not having anything for him.

Monday, January 7, 2008 - Update

Sleeping Baby Bear


Olivia and I were able to go on another stroller ride today. I can’t get enough of this 60 degree weather. I don’t think she made it to the end of the driveway before she fell fast asleep. Unfortunately, the cold weather is coming back tomorrow.

Some days it seems I just stare at Olivia in amazement and can’t believe she is really mine. It took me awhile for my pregnancy to really sink in. I couldn’t believe that I finally got pregnant. When you give birth at 23 weeks, your baby doesn’t cry. . .at least Olivia didn’t. A roomful of people and you’ve never heard such deafening silence. I only caught her moving out of the corner of my eye before they whisked her away. I thought I had lost her. After Logan died, I thought I had lost her again. There is something about losing a child that leaves you with a sense of uneasiness. If something so awful can happen to you once in this life, you start to think anything can happen. It’s an uneasiness that I don’t think will ever go away. God doesn’t ever guarantee that our lives will be easy. He never guarantees our life on earth, but for those who believe in Him. . .He gives us the promise of eternity.

I’m happy to report that Olivia is breastfeeding successfully after many unsuccessful attempts. . . .and she loves it. I’m afraid that she is going to start refusing bottles all together. She even makes a point to stop and grin while nursing, with milk running down her cheek. I want to make sure that she is getting enough and not knowing how much she’s getting is driving me crazy. I’m so worried about it. Wish us luck on this new endeavor as this could help with her gas pains and fussiness while eating. My parents came over and helped us take the Christmas stuff down today and also held her while we trimmed our guinea pigs’ nails. Eighty four nails had to be cut, but they willingly let us do it. I guess after being way over-do, they welcome it (they are supposed to be cut every 6 weeks and I think we’ve trimmed them once since Olivia was born.)

Anyway, it was a beautiful day outside and we just had to get out and enjoy it. So, Olivia took her first stroller ride! We had to borrow my parents’ stroller because all we have is a double stroller and an umbrella stroller (she’s not quite big enough for that one yet.) She was able to hear dogs barking and geese quacking and feel the sun shining, etc. Do you know how long it’s been since I took a leisurely stroll outside? It was wonderful! I pray for many more days like this.

Saturday, January 5, 2008 - Update

We decided to stop the NeoSure for a few days and see how Olivia does. We have her solely on breast milk (along with the Poly-Vi-Sol.)
It’s too soon to tell if it’s made a difference, but she just had a humongous stool and is as happy as can be right now. She just took her last bottle really well, so we’ll see how she does.

I noticed that KSN had a big story on RSV and how it’s the worst outbreak in years. Wesley’s pediatric unit is almost at full capacity and they may have to start diverting people to Denver, Kansas City, etc. It scares me to death, but luckily we don’t have to get Olivia out until her next Synagis shot on Jan 31st. I know we don’t allow very many visitors, but we just ask that if you do visit. . .please evaluate your health before ever stepping foot in our house. We just have to make it to April!!! I know that Olivia has some of the best cousins in the world. They want to meet her so badly, but have been so patient by placing Olivia’s needs before their own. I love you and miss you guys so much!

Friday, January 4, 2008 - Update

Not too much to report today. Grandma and Grandpa Glunt came over so that Ryan could work later and I could go to the store. I think they enjoyed their time with her. Olivia is still struggling with gas. . .so much for my endorsement of Dr. Brown’s bottles. I have never met a baby who struggles with gas quite like Olivia and neither has Ryan’s mom who has cared for countless babies. Nothing seems to help. Her doctor had us increase the gas drops, we burp her during and after each feeding, etc. The gas pains just seem to make her miserable. If it wasn’t for the gassiness. . .she would be an extremely happy baby as that is the one thing that really upsets her. Hopefully, we’ll soon find a remedy that works.

Thursday, January 3, 2008 - Update

We asked so much of our sweet little girl today and she was an angel through it all. Our first stop was the pediatrician’s office where she received her much needed second Synagis shot. We already have her next appt made on Jan 31st for her next shot. They allow us to wait in a separate waiting room and also informed us that next time we can use the side door and bypass the waiting room altogether. We have been very pleased with our pediatrician at Mid-KS Pediatrics. Before her shot, she had another weight check and. . .drum roll please. . .she weighs 7 lbs!!! She gained 10 ounces over the past week. No wonder she is outgrowing her outfits. Her consistent weight gain has diminished a bit of the stress that I’ve felt regarding her feedings because I know weight gain is a huge issue with preemies.

Next stop was at the eye doctor (Dr Varenhorst.) I think she disliked the eye exam even more than the shot, but she was a trooper. The ROP has pretty much resolved itself and has left the doctor utterly amazed. He had to ask again what her gestational age was at birth as he could hardly believe that she was born at 23 weeks. We do not have any more appointments with him. She will start seeing a pediatric ophthalmologist this spring. She has and I know always will be my little over-achiever. She is truly a miracle and I am so grateful to be a part of something so miraculous. There is not a second that goes by where I do not thank the Lord for what He is doing with her life.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008 - Update

Hey - I remember you!

I've gotten pretty big, huh?

Today, Nurse Holli came by to visit Olivia. Olivia was a little cranky when she first got here, but then she woke up and showed Holli all of the new things she can do. Holli has become a dear friend of ours and we are so glad that she came to visit. Hopefully, she can come again soon. I hope all of the NICU nurses know that our doors are always open to them if they ever want to stop by. We’re pretty much always home.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008 - Feliz 2008

Well, I have decided that I do not enjoy baths.

But, I love how clean I feel afterwards.

Is it cuddle time yet?

Because I love cuddle time.

Ryan and I have a New Year’s tradition that started in 2002. We were at my apartment flipping through the channels trying to find a New Year’s countdown. None of the channels seemed to have a countdown for Central Standard time. . .none except the Spanish channel. So, we’ve counted down in Spanish ever since while watching the Spanish channel each New Year’s Eve. Last night, I once again watched the Spanish channel except this time it was just Olivia and me. Ryan had already gone to bed and I wasn’t complaining. The sooner he goes to bed, the sooner I get to go to bed. I woke him up at 4:00 am to feed her, crawled into bed and he let me sleep until 11:30 am!! It was heaven. I also got out of the house and went to Target to use some of my Target gift cards. My real reason for going out was to get some Poly-Vi-Sol for Olivia, but I figured I might as well get some other things as well. Her pediatrician wants her to start on Poly-Vi-Sol because of her anemia. We also ordered a miracle blanket because of a suggestion we received months ago from our neighbor. Olivia has a really hard time staying asleep and holding her is the only way she’ll stay asleep. She hardly makes a peep when she’s in our arms. The majority of the time, I can hold her all day, but there are those times when I have to get some things done. She has a knack for waking up right when I sit down to pump. I hope all of you have had a great New Year’s Day. I have to say that I hope this year is totally uneventful for me as I just want to watch Olivia grow.

Monday, December 31, 2007 - Stroller Dilemma

Olivia is learning to grasp her toys.

Olivia looking at the pretty baby in the mirror.

Sleeping Beauty

I will attempt to shorten what has become this complicated issue. Back when I was pregnant, I found the perfect double stroller. . .in Graco G Galore (it has Gs all over it . . .for Glunt, ya know.) For some reason, I HAD to have that one and broke down into tears when I couldn’t purchase it with the 2 matching car seats. You could buy the double stroller OR you could get it in the travel system with the single stroller and car seat. We wanted the double stroller with 2 car seats, but could not get it even after calling Graco direct. We had to buy the double stroller, 2 different car seats plus the G Galore pads and switch out the pads. We finally had our double stroller with 2 G Galore car seats that we now no longer need. We can’t take it back because we purchased them at 3 different places and it was quite a while ago. I need to get rid of the double stroller as it is a painful reminder of what could have been. If anyone is in need of a double stroller, please email me. I promise to make you a really good deal on it. . .it’s never been used and never even been outside. Here is a picture of the stroller.

http://www.gracobaby.com/catalog/product.aspx?modelNumber=6K00GLR3&CategoryID=2

Okay, now we want the single G Galore stroller that matches her car seat, but since you can only buy it in a travel system, I would have to buy the stroller with a 3rd car seat. I don’t need three car seats! Does anybody have any suggestions?

Sunday, December 30. 2007 - Welcome!

Welcome Kaleb Snyder!

Sunday, December 30, 2007 - Update

The big news of the day was the arrival of Olivia’s new baby cousin, Kaleb Brodie. Ryan’s sister, Kim, had him today at 3:33 pm and he weighed in at 8 lbs 13 oz and was 19.5 inches long. Yes, Olivia’s baby cousin is bigger than she is. Both Kim and Kaleb are doing well. I will post pictures as soon as I have them.

Last night Olivia gave me an unexpected (and unwelcomed) surprise. . .projectile vomit all over her and all over me. I think it was the karo syrup that did it as it was the only thing that was changed. Afterwards, she was as happy as could be. . .hasn’t been running a temperature and doesn’t seem to be sick. She hasn’t stooled yet today, but I’m not concerned about that yet as she went a few times yesterday. I appreciate all of your wonderful suggestions and comments. Okay, on to my next question. I am so sleep deprived. . .it’s not even funny anymore (even though Ryan let me sleep in this morning.) Of course, I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in over 4 months because I have been getting up to pump. Now that she’s home, I know I’m supposed to sleep when she sleeps. Well, that’s impossible to do because, without fail, she wakes up at least every hour crying and fussing. Ryan and I don’t know what’s wrong, but it seems to be horrible gas pain. We’re using the Dr. Browns bottles, we burp her multiple times each feeding and she takes gas drops at every feeding. I’m starting to lean toward either bad reflux or she’s allergic to something in my milk or to the Neosure. It just doesn’t seem right that a baby wakes up in that much pain. I’m exhausted and worried about her. Poor Ryan has been working all weekend long, which doesn’t allow either one of us to catch up on our much needed sleep. Plus, we can’t have anyone come over to help feed her because that’s when she tends to desat. . .although her desats are becoming infrequent. We only feel comfortable feeding her ourselves. And, we don’t want to expose her to too many visitors.

Anyway, I can’t believe we are almost to the end of the year. As I look back on 2007, I realize that it has been the absolute best and the absolute worst year of my life. This year I finally got pregnant and I have my precious Olivia which makes it the best. These last 4 months, however, have also made it the worst. Sometimes I wish that PDA still stood for public display of affection and that PIP was still just an insurance term. I realize that this is the road I had to take to have my daughter and in that regard. . .I wouldn’t change it for anything.

**Right after I sent my last update, I went in to check on Olivia and she was in her crib, wide awake and as happy as can be. That’s what I don’t understand. . . she will have these bursts of crying and grunting and turning her face bright red, but then the rest of the time she is an extremely content baby. She hardly ever fusses about anything except when she has what seem to be these gas-like pains (or when we try to put the cannula back on her.) I just wish I knew how to help her.**

Saturday, December 29, 2007 - Update

Party at my crib!

The three bottles with dark karo syrup didn’t seem to do anything for Olivia. It caused her not to take quite as much because I don’t believe she liked the taste. Earlier today we gave her a glycerin suppository (she had these in the NICU) and it did the trick. Actually, it did it so well that we ended up having to give her a bath. These aren’t really a permanent solution, but at least we got a stool out of her. Can vaccinations cause infrequent stools/constipation? It’s just interesting how we never had this problem previously. Thanks for all of your suggestions. I know everyone has commented about how much they like this blog, but you have no idea how much it means to Ryan and me. We haven’t had a chance to go to any support groups because we spent our evenings at the hospital and now we have Olivia to take care of. It’s unbelievable the amount of physical and emotional stamina required to deal with all that has happened over the past 4 months. This blog is kind of my support group and I appreciate all of you who take the time to check it each day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Friday, December 28, 2007 - Update

Well, her Synagis shot is to be shipped on Jan 2nd and should arrive on Jan 3rd at our pediatrician’s office. Of course, that’s also the day of her next eye exam. I’d really like her to have the shot before going into a public place again, but that would be one awful day for her. I don’t know. . .as if life hasn’t been tough enough. . . .why do people have to make it that more stressful? If I don’t come out of this whole thing without some kind of obsessive/compulsive/anxiety disorder it’ll be a miracle. I wash and Purell my hands so much that they are cracked and bleeding. Anyway, we checked into a home nursing agency coming to our home to do it, but at this point I don’t want anything else to hold it up. They pay 90% after we meet our deductible. We’ve met our deductible about 1000 times over this year, but unfortunately next week is a new year. Our next worry is that Olivia hasn’t stooled in almost 48 hours. We’re talking about a girl who would have 6-7 dirty diapers in a day. A few days ago, the amount decreased somewhat and now it’s come to a standstill. I’m planning on going to the store to get some karo syrup to add to some of her bottles? I thought breast milk was a natural laxative and I’m still pumping breast milk for her (although it’s getting increasingly difficult.) Of course, I’m terrified to go into public places myself and bring something home to Olivia. . .the whole OCD/anxiety thing again.

She is doing better and seems a lot happier today after having her vaccinations yesterday. She wasn’t too happy yesterday. We received her blood work results, but haven’t talked to the doctor about them. Her alk/phos is still in the 800s. Her hematocrit is low again which means she is bordering on anemia again. This has been the reason for so many of her transfusions. What do they do once a baby is discharged and still has the problem? Add iron? Of course, that won’t help her stooling issues and I believe that the Neosure has iron in it. For some reason, they didn’t have the GGT results, which is the liver enzyme that we were worried about.

Sorry. . no pictures again. It’s been a stressful couple of days. Ryan let me sleep tonight until about 8 pm which I desperately needed. This lack of sleep isn’t making things any better. She would probably sleep through the night if we let her, but we’re all too concerned about making sure she gets enough calories each day. I don’t know when we’ll make that transition. Please continue to keep her in your prayers

Thursday, December 27. 2007 - Update

I just have probably a few minutes to write this update as Olivia hasn’t let me be out of her sight all day. She had to have 4 vaccinations (3 shots) along with a bunch of blood work today. Poor thing is one cranky baby. Of course, none of those shots were her Synagis shot as we are still waiting on its approval. She had one Synagis shot in November while still in the NICU, so I don’t know what the hold up is. I am so very frustrated by it and don’t know who to direct my anger at. I’ve called our insurance company and left a message in hopes that I hear back from them tomorrow. This is ridiculous and I feel that it’s putting her health at risk. Don’t be surprised if we limit our visitors even more so until she at least gets her second shot. I just thought that because she was a 23 weeker (who also lost her twin brother) that the medical and insurance field would make sure she was better protected or at least help us to do so. At least today at the pediatrician’s office we were able to wait in a separate room instead of in the waiting room with a whole bunch of sick kids. But, when you request it, they look at you like, “Why should your child get special treatment?” Um. . . .do you want me to start listing off the many reasons why? I’m just a mom trying to protect her child that’s already been through too much.

Well, this update has taken me about 3 hours to write because Olivia just wants her mama to rock her. This will be an interesting night. But, before I forget. . .she now weighs 6 lbs 6 oz and is 18 ¾ inches long. This puts her in the 25th percentile on the preemie chart (not the full term chart.) I believe her head circumference is in the 10th percentile. We are very pleased with her growth and pray that she continues to grow bigger and stronger and healthier each day.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007 - Update

I don’t have any pictures to post today, so I thought I would post a pre-Olivia picture of mommy, daddy and the Grinch. This was taken a few years ago on our trip to Universal Studios.

It’s kind of sad that Olivia is outgrowing a lot of her first sleepers. . .her ‘Baby’s First Christmas,’ her yellow giraffe one, etc. I never thought I’d see the day, but I’m thrilled that she continues to grow and thrive. She’s really starting to smile and interact with us and she’s even shown a preference for certain toys. Tomorrow she has another pediatrician appt and has to get her 4 month vaccinations. I think that babies that have been through as much as Olivia should never have to be poked or prodded ever again. She should hopefully get her Synagis shot tomorrow as she is a week overdue. Maybe someone could explain to me how this works, but it’s taking forever to get approval for it. I’m getting really frustrated. . .she was born at 23 weeks!! What is there to think about? Anyway, please be thinking about her tomorrow and pray she has another good weight gain for us.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007 - Merry Christmas!

My family takes time out to say, "Hi!"

I hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas. Thanks to all of you who took time out from your festivities to visit the blog and say hi. Shea, I hope that you are enjoying your Christmas present. You’d think Ryan and I could get a little kick back from the high speed internet companies considering the number who have purchased it to check in on my little girl.

We were unable to go to my parents’ house for the annual Christmas dinner, so it was delivered to our door. Pretty cool. Grandma and Grandpa Glunt spent the day over here with us. It was their turn to spoil Olivia and we had a wonderful time. They even provided us with dinner. What a great Christmas for us. I hope it was for all of you as well!

Monday, December 24, 2007 - Merry Christmas Update

La-Z-Boy? More like La-Z-Girls!

Merry Christmas Eve everyone! As you can tell from the picture. . .I didn’t do too much today. Olivia has decided that she no longer needs the extra oxygen and when she saturates better without her prongs in, who are we to question her? She knew when she was ready to come off the ventilator and never looked back. Some days it seems that she has it all figured out. I know that I will want the oxygen tank right beside her for some time. She may still need it when she’s in her car seat. Before I forget. . . last time I spoke with Holli, she had not found a home for Harley yet. It’s probably too late to put him in a red bow for Christmas morning, but it’s not too late to ring in the New Year with him. If you are interested, you can call Holli at 316-323-2765.

This was the first year of my entire life that I didn’t spend the evening on Christmas Eve at my grandparents’ house. I really missed it, although having Olivia home is the best Christmas present I could have hoped for. I missed spending the afternoon at Ryan’s parents’ house. Watching my nieces and nephews open their Christmas presents has become quite the highlight for me in years past. I miss you guys and hope you get everything you wanted. Ryan, Olivia and I are getting ready to pile into the bedroom, watch Ratatouille and wait for Santa Claus to come!

Sunday, December 23, 2007 - Merry Christmas and Happy Due Date

She must have been a very good girl. I bet Santa has tons of presents for her!

We had to take time for an afternoon cuddle!

Merry Christmas from Ryan, Jodi and Olivia.

Today was Olivia’s official due date. Actually, they consider 37 weeks full term with twins so she probably would have been born around Thanksgiving. I would have taken Halloween or at least sometime after Labor Day. She’s been through so much before she was even supposed to be born. We celebrated our first of many Christmases today. Because of RSV season we are unable to attend large family gatherings, so we are having multiple celebrations at home. Today was Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma Sailing. She has no idea how many presents she received. I just have to find places for all of it.