Saturday, February 16, 2013

Belated Birthday Celebration

My birthday was over 2 weeks ago, but we were unable to get everyone well enough to celebrate.  So, we stuck my cake in the freezer and waited until today (and my dad was sick and could not attend.) Have I told you how much I hate flu season? Anyway, yep, it was the big 3-5.  I thought it would be a hard one for me, but it really wasn’t.  I have a beautiful family and if I accomplish nothing else in my life, I still feel I have accomplished a lot.

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I thought this would be fun to see.  Here I am with Olivia when I turned 30 in 2008.

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And here I am with Olivia at 35.  LOL!  Abigail would have been in the picture, but she was very content in her swing. 

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My mom watched the girls so that Ryan and I could go on a lunch date.  I don’t believe we’ve been out together since Abigail was born.  And, I figured we  hadn’t had a picture together in a long time either. 

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Friday, February 15, 2013

Friday, February 15, 2013

I've long suspected that something was "wrong" with my breast milk. Abigail just seems so bothered by it after eating and her tummy seems to hurt a lot. About a week ago, she started having very frequent, very loose stools. I stopped counting after she had 10 per day. Last night, there was a bit of blood in it. I have been blaming my antibiotic because that's about when it started. So, I took her into the doctor today and they are suspecting a milk protein allergy induced colitis. I am to switch to Alimentum formula and cut out all dairy from my diet. But, I think I'm officially calling it quits with breastfeeding. I already struggle a lot with what to eat because of my blood sugars and my tendency towards kidney stones. I can't cut yet another thing out of my diet and remain sane. For some, breastfeeding goes smoothly and that just hasn't been the case with me. Part of me is a bit relieved because I've been stressing about any and everything that I eat and how it will affect her. But, I'm so very sad about it too. Not only is it cheaper (especially compared to Alimentum) but it is more convenient and I love the closeness. It calms her down immediately when she's fussy. For awhile at least. So tonight I held her close with a pacifier in her mouth and I cried. Some of you may think that's silly, but for some reason it's really hard for me. I'm not 100% convinced that it's a milk protein allergy, but I realize I need to investigate that possibility. I just want to do what's best for Abigail and I no longer believe, in our case, that breastfeeding is it.

Other than that, she is doing wonderfully and now sleeps for 6 consecutive hours a night. She wakes at about 3 am and then again at 7 am. It's been lovely.



Thursday, February 14, 2013

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Today was Olivia's Valentines party at school and I feel blessed to have been able to attend. Olivia had such a good time with her friends. It's so funny because there is this particular little boy who Olivia says she does not like, he's mean to her, chases her, etc. But every time I'm in her class, guess who she chooses to sit by? Cracks me up! After her party, Olivia and I ran the van through the car wash ( she's been begging) went to Sonic, and to aunt Shelley's before picking little sister up. Fun day!







Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

What a long day! Up at 6:45 am and Abigail had her colic appointment. Then, we dropped Abigail off at aunt Shelley's and picked up grandma Glunt. The three of us had lunch at Arby's ( where Olivia ate her entire jr roast beef sandwich) then went to get our haircut. Although a little apprehensive about laying back to get her hair washed, Olivia does an amazing job. Today she didn't even want to leave and thought helping out at the salon sounded like more fun. But, finally got her to leave, picked up Abigail, dropped off grandma and made it home. Whew! That's a lot to do on a newborn sleep schedule. Someday she'll sleep all night. She actually does well and let's me sleep for at least one four hour chunk of time.









Sunday, February 10, 2013

All About Olivia

There are a few things you may not know about Olivia ( or if you've been reading this blog for 5 years, you probably do.) One is that she is very funny. Her sense of humor just cracks me up everyday. She gets confused because daddy was a wildcat and I was a shocker in college. So, she referred to me as a wildcocker the other day. And when Abigail cries, Olivia becomes concerned that her face is "burning up" as it turns quite red. Maybe that's why she likes Mr. Bean so much ( yes, the British comedian.)

Olivia is also very active. . .to the point that many have suspected ADD. Time will tell, I suppose. The thought of her having to sit down at a desk all day kind of makes me cringe though. She's always moving and she has been this way since the NICU. I'm sure her nurses will vouch for that.

She is very small at 31.5 lbs and 42 inches tall. Eating has always been a struggle. Since we haven't gained anything in 6 months, I told her that when she makes it to 32 lbs, we'd have a party with a cake. That actually has motivated her a little bit to eat more than 2 bites of her dinner. I'm sure that her high activity level doesn't help with the weight gain.

She's eccentric. Especially with how she plays. The other day, she was playing with a family of computer mice and a family of blow dryers. My hair clips were once bugs living in my old jewelry box. She loves when her balloons deflate so that she can walk them around the house on their "leash." Last night she slept with a plastic lobster shovel (it has never been outside.) And when she grows up, she wants to be a butterfly. A pink and purple one. There is no limit to her imagination and she is definitely not one who just goes with the crowd.

Her memory is like a steel trap. Seriously, she remembers things that most people would not. She remembered that we used to have a white microwave and she was maybe 3 when we gave it away. She remembered that my dad installed a CD player in the kitchen and I don't even think she was three at that time. She remembers where presents were placed under the tree from 2 years ago! I've learned not to argue with her about certain things because chances are, she's right if memory is concerned.

She is very smart. She loves to play the what if game and is always coming up with questions like, "What if there were no houses? What if my feet were my hands and my hands were my feet? What if it was always nighttime? What if there were no trees?" The only reason she is a bit delayed in a few areas is because she won't sit down to work on it ( like writing letters, numbers, doing puzzles.) and she loves to tell stories and have stories told to her. She also loves for you to take videos of her. She would be content all day if you would tell her stories, take videos with her and answer her questions.

She is very musical. She feels music with such a passion at 5 years old. She makes up songs on the piano and on the guitar. Her rhythm is incredible and she just has a musicality that astonishes me. I predict that music will be a big part of her life. She rarely sits still unless she is at the piano. It's almost a release for her to get her energy out. Currently, we are debating piano lessons now vs later.

And that's a little bit of who my Olivia Paige is. I love her so much. She has become such a loving, affectionate child. She has told me that she never wants to get married or move away. She just wants to stay with me forever. Even when she's a butterfly, she promises to just fly around the house. Near or far, butterfly or not. . .she's definitely going places.









Sunday, February 10, 2013

Abigail is doing a bit worse today, as we all are. I just can't keep the snot sucked out fast enough. Ryan feels worse. I actually feel better, but my antibiotic gave me hives. It seems to be a little too closely related to penicillin, which also gives me hives. So I'm hoping to get on a different one tomorrow. But Abigail is just miserable. And Olivia so badly wants someone to play with her. Last night, Abigail sat on my lap and was mesmerized by her sister. Olivia was singing and dancing and playing and Abigail just stared at her. It was so cute. She already knows who her sister is.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Saturday, February 9, 2013

After a quick trip to the doctor yesterday, I'm now on an antibiotic for a sinus infection, Ryan's been on an antibiotic since Thursday and Abigail isn't getting worse. So, I hope that means we are on the mend. My little former 23 weeker is just a rock star and is getting frustrated by all of us sickies. She really didn't like the fact that mommy didn't have a voice this morning. Our goal is to all be well by next weekend and get our house back in order.

We are also about 4 days into an approximate 10 day treatment of colic for Abigail and the results are remarkable. I've had multiple people comment on what a calm, content baby I have and that was not the case even last week. She slept through her entire exam at the doctor on Thursday. And that is with a cold. She even nurses without fussing like she has been doing for weeks. She just doesn't seem to be in pain anymore. I just may be able to continue breastfeeding as well. Remarkable. I'll have a full review when treatment is complete. This doctor basically believes colic is caused by a weak valve in the intestines and a simple massage strengthens that muscle. He has had 100% success with babies all over the country ( and even in Scotland.) I'm beginning to see my happy baby again.









Thursday, February 7, 2013

Thursday, February 7, 2013

I'll start by saying I love the NoseFrida Snotsucker. Not sure how I survived Olivia's infancy without one (oh yeah, she was never sick because we hibernated for 2 years.) Works sooo much better than a bulb syringe. Yes, Abigail has a bad cold. I took her into the doctor today and her lungs were clear, ears looked fine, etc. I have a bad head cold too and Ryan has a sinus infection. One big, happy, snot filled family. Poor Abigail has the worst sounding cough and she has so much mucus, she'll throw up. Hoping she feels better soon.

Olivia, the well one of the family somehow, decided a few days ago that she was going to wear her glasses all the time. And she meant it! She even put them on after her bath while she got ready for bed. Four years of constant nagging and reminding has come to an end. I have no idea how she came about this decision but she's growing up before my eyes!!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

The Rules

Olivia and I had a discussion about the house rules and how they aren't posted anywhere. So tonight Olivia thought of all the rules that we should follow. These are all straight out of Olivia's mouth.

No slamming doors
No climbing on high stuff ( ok, so she's learned her mommy is a little cautious.)
No screaming inside the house
No touching hot stuff
No going down slides backwards
No sleeping under your bed ( darn)
No splashing in the bathtub ( and getting mama wet.)
No taking big stuff to school ( because it doesn't fit in back pack)
No spilling food on the floor ( sorry Abigail)
No locking doors
No hitting
No putting tape all over
No running from mama
No falling down the chimney if there is a fire in the fireplace ( and one we all should follow.)
No climbing on the roof
No running in the street
No breaking stuff
No being mean to people
No picking your lip (Olivia and I both have this bad habit.)
No closing your eyes while cooking ( so you don't burn yourself. I must close my eyes a lot.
No grabbing mama's phone from her. ( Ok, so I might have made a teeny suggestion. )

I'm gonna need a really big poster board.

Abigail Harper









Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I have a really difficult decision to make. I met with a chiropractor who has treated hundreds upon hundreds of babies with colic and gas related discomforts. I know, i was kinda skeptical too, but he came highly referred by a few people i really trust. He believes colic is caused by a weak valve in the intestines. Over a 2 week period, he strengthens that valve by a simple tummy massage and the baby's discomfort goes away.

http://docscharenberg.com/coliccure.html

Many foods in the breastfeeding mother's diet can aggravate your baby's discomfort. You are asked to abstain from all the" no" foods for 2 weeks and then slowly add them back I'm. I know something in my diet is hurting her, because she is so much better on formula. A different baby. It could be beef, tomatoes, fruit, lettuce, any spices, caffeine, it could even be my prenatal vitamin. Protein and fiber are the biggest culprits, not dairy. I base my diet around protein because of my blood sugars. I just didn't realize babies could be so sensitive to everything you eat. So, what do I do? Keep breastfeeding when I know it hurts her tummy? Or switch to formula. It's possible that after 2 weeks I can add those foods back in. So do I pump for 2 weeks? I'm supposed to start a supplement to help boost my supply, but it causes gas discomfort in some babies. What do I do? This morning I fed her a bottle of formula because I didn't want to see her in pain and she kept trying to nurse. It made me cry. So I nursed her and within minutes she was uncomfortable. I'm honestly in tears over it. I try to eat well and do what's best for her and its not working. Praying for some answers soon.

Emily Isbell

There was a young woman by the name of Emily Isbell who was a longtime follower of my blog. She would always send Olivia cards and gifts in the mail. She was only in her 20s, but she was very ill. Tonight I was going through my address book and I came across her address. I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. I would send her thank you cards, but never once did I send something special to her. She had lost both of her parents this past year. I'd send an email, but never did I send her something in the mail. That got me thinking. . .I had not heard from her in a long time. Things have been so crazy, I hadn't noticed. Knowing Emily, she would have a small gift for baby Abigail as she was so excited for her arrival. I looked her up on Facebook and found out she had passed away around the first of November. She never got to even "meet" my sweet Abigail. My heart is broken. For one, the world lost a very thoughtful, caring soul. And I'm so ashamed that I didn't even find out until 3 months later! It gives me peace that she is with her parents and I'm sure she has met my sweet Logan who she cared a lot about. But it still breaks my heart in two.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Monday, February 4, 2013

I'm feeling much better except my achiness and nausea have been replaced with a headache, sore throat and congestion. What a lousy 48 hours that was! Praying the girls don't catch it! On the plus side, I lost 3 more pounds of baby weight, but Olivia doesn't have that luxury. And because I slept for 2 straight days, I'm up at 4:30 am. So I went downstairs, paid bills and bought a new stroller for Abigail. Remind me to someday tell you my awful luck with strollers. I'm so in love with this one. Can't wait!

Well, better try to get some sleep. Thank you to my parents and mother-in-law for taking care of Abigail when I was out of commission. Oh and thanks to Olivia too. What a big helper! Abigail had woken up crying and before I could get in there, Olivia had given Abigail her pacifier and gotten her back to sleep. Nothing like seeing Olivia holding in her pacifier through the bars of the crib just smiling at her sister. Warmed my heart! Olivia is crazy about her and tells me daily that she's the cutest baby ever! I tend to agree.



Saturday, February 2, 2013

Down and Out

I'm sick with the flu. Don't remember feeling this bad for at least 13 years. It feels like I'm being repeatedly punched in the stomach and I ache everywhere from the hips up. Awful awful. Awful. Praying the girls stay well. Olivia doesn't know the meaning of contagious, so this morning she kept offering to take care of me and cuddle me. Bless her heart. She is so sweet It's hard to say I love you so please stay away. Plus, she is upset that my birthday party was cancelled. Remind me to not complain about waking up every 3 hrs with a newborn. I'd give anything to feel up to that right now. Yuck.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Friday, February 1, 2013

I visited with a lactation consultant this afternoon. Abigail was thrilled that she got to go somewhere to eat. All of the other babies there were maybe 5 lbs, so my 10 lb baby looked like a giant! LOL. Anyway, she ate for about 45 minutes and only got 80 ml or just over 2 1/2 oz. The minimum per feeding at her age is 2 1/2 oz, but she has to work really hard for it. So that's probably why she likes a formula bottle. She gets more and gets it faster. So, I'm trying to boost my supply by drinking more water and taking a supplement called more milk plus by Motherlove. It would also help, I'm sure, to reduce stress and get more sleep. I may also look into a dairy elimination diet to see if that helps with the gassiness and fussiness.

Anyway, I'm thrilled that she's gaining weight so well, but wish she didn't have to constantly eat to do so. Praying I can boost my supply for her. After feeding her a few bottles, I was reminded of how much I hate bottle feeding. . .getting the bottles ready, having it drip down their face, having to pack bottles in the diaper bag. Ughh. Really hoping I can do this until she is 1 yr old. We'll see.

Here is a picture of Abigail heading out with me today. And, it was pajama day at school so Olivia was thrilled!



Thursday, January 31, 2013

Things Olivia Is Afraid Of

So, I really really needed a laugh today. Olivia was sitting on the couch with me and decided to list off all of the things that she is scared of. By the end of the third one, I was laughing so hard that I had to write them down. So, here they are:

Nail pops
Scary hands
Scary hand on a stick
Monsters
Ghosts
Spooky Old Tree bats
Vampire bats
I'm not scared of any fruit bats though.
Mean people
Scary faces
Spooky haunted house
Knives
Spoons
Boxes
Moving walls
Low voices
Whoopee cushions
Socks with a hole in them
Closets
Throw up
Loud noises

Thursday, January 31, 2013

I bought some Similac Sensitive this morning and so far I've fed her two bottles of it and have noticed no difference. And poor thing just wanted to nurse so badly, so I caved and nursed her. I love nursing so much compared to bottle feeding. No bottles to get ready, no messy formula dripping down her chin, etc. So, I think after I take Olivia to school tomorrow, I'm going to visit a lactation consultant. It is free at the hospital where she was born. Maybe they can provide some insight as to what is going on. Praying for answers. I just want my happy baby back. I also have an appointment with Dr Scharenberg on Monday. After 10+ recommendations, I have to check him out!

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Lactose Overload

Okay, so I'm pretty sure that Abigail has lactose overload as a previous commenter has mentioned. The only thing inconsistent with it is she does not have the issues with bowel movements. Everything else is spot on! She screams and cries all of the time unless I feed her. Then, she eats and seems very gassy and uncomfortable. And so the only thing that calms her down is to feed her and the cycle continues. It seems that I have two solutions. One is to block feed which I already do and it hasn't helped. The other is to switch to a lactose free formula and quit breastfeeding. And if I do, does anyone know whether it can be soy or actually a lactose free formula? So, hoping to get into see a lactation consultant to examine any other ideas before I make changes. Because I seriously have a baby who cries all the time. First she cries because she's mad unless I feed her. Then, she cries in pain from the gas.

Here are some things I have read about it.

Gas and fluid build-up cause tummy pain and the baby 'acts hungry' (wants to suck, is unsettled, draws up his legs, screams). Sucking is the best comfort he knows and also helps move the gas along the bowel. This tends to ease the pain temporarily and may result in wind and stool being passed. Since the baby indicates that he wants to suck at the breast, his mother, logically, feeds him again. Sometimes it is the only way to comfort him. Unfortunately another large feed on top of the earlier one hurries the system further and results in more gas and fluid accumulation. The milk seems almost literally to 'go in one end and out the other'.

What are the symptoms of lactose overload?

Frequent watery bowel motions (can often be green in color but not always)
Bowel motions often have a slightly to very offensive odor
Bowel motions could be frothy or 'explosive' (shoot out with force)
Bloating
Cramps
Excessive gas
Irritability/screaming
Sleeplessness or wakefulness
Baby appears to be constantly hungry
Baby gains large amounts of weight (which is not the case when a baby is lactose intolerant)
Baby is usually less than 3 months old, but this problem can continue to the age of 5 months
Symptoms are often mistakenly diagnosed as colic, lactose intolerance or milk allergy or intolerance. Because lactose overload is associated with an oversupply of milk and/or overfeeding, spitting up is increased and a diagnosis of gastro-esophageal reflux is common.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Monday, January 28, 2013

Two month checkup

Abigail had her two month checkup today. She screamed a lot which was consistent at least with what I was talking to him about. It was her mad cry, however, because she was awake and not being fed. She also has a pain cry when she eats. He upped her Zantac dose, but I don't think it is doing anything for her. Her doctor thought she might be happier when taking formula because it is thicker than breast milk. Maybe that's why she is more content? Anyway, super fussy tonight because of her shots today. Poor baby.

As of 11 pm, she has a 100.1 fever and just feels miserable. These vaccinations were brutal. Gonna be a long night.

Weight: 9 lbs 12 oz and in the 16th percentile. Wow, I don't believe Olivia has ever gotten over the 1 percentile.

Height: 21.3 inches and in the 7 th percentile

And cute as a button!!!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Saturday, January 27, 2013

The other day, Olivia and I spent the afternoon shopping together and had such a good time. Do you know what she bought with her Christmas gift card? Zinkies ( no surprise since she loves Squinkies, however, I despise Zinkies! They are a cruel joke to parents and once Abigail is mobile, they have to go away for awhile.) And. . . She bought her own pink blow dryer. LOL! It's what she wanted.

Still struggling on the breastfeeding front. I started taking a fenugreek supplement to increase my supply and it has definitely worked! It also has the added benefit of of lowering your blood sugar. I just constantly smell like maple syrup, eh, small price to pay. But the way she screams when she breastfeeds, I feel like I'm poisoning her. I can't say that it feels like I'm doing what is best for her. :(. I'm so discouraged! Her 2 month appointment is tomorrow and I'm going to talk to her doctor and also try to get into a lactation consultant. I have GOT to figure out what is going on. Her weight gain is super though. She is over 9.5 lbs I think. Just look at those little chubby legs.




Saturday, January 26, 2013

My Two Girls

So, I guess Abigail and Olivia look more alike than I thought they did. The pictures below were both taken one month from their due dates or around January 23 2008 and 2013 respectively. Still find it crazy that they had the same due dates 5 years apart.



Friday, January 25, 2013

I am a huge believer in breast milk and I truly believe it's best, but could someone explain this to me?

Breast milk = fussy
Breast milk= fussy
Breast milk = fussy
Formula= happy, smiley
Breast milk= fussy

Kinda discouraging to me. :)

Friday, January 25, 2013

I tell ya, 5+ years of constantly fretting about your child's weight takes its toll. Olivia has gained nothing in 6 months. She is such a poor eater and it doesn't help that she's been constantly sick almost for months. I have her on vitamin C, a high quality vitamin and thank goodness she drinks Pediasure. It doesn't matter what I fix, she only takes a few bites and is done. Every night, without fail, she says her stomach hurts and can't eat anymore. The other night, she ate a few bites of chicken and an hour later, she was still chewing on the chicken! She does that with other food as well, like carrots or apples or any kind of meat, until finally I just let her spit it out. It's almost like she can't sit down to eat unless we tell her how many bites until she's done. How in the world is she going to eat once she goes to school without someone supervising her? And if you've never had a child who doesn't eat, it's hard to explain. Abigail is already tons different. You put anything in her mouth and she'll suck on it. Olivia has never liked anything in her mouth.

I don't know, I just want to see Olivia growing and thriving. I know she's going to be small and skinny. In a time of the obesity epidemic, that's fine. But I just know how little she eats and that's what bothers me. If she ate well and was still small, I wouldn't worry, ya know? I keep wanting to turn a corner and we never do. Anyway, so that's what is on my mind at 5 am while my other child is ravenously hungry. Please continue to pray for her growth and health.

Speaking of that, we will be participating in the March for Babies this year on April 6th. Since we didn't do it last year, I'm hoping to come back strong this year. We would love all previous team members to return and to gain many new ones. I will be posting a link to my personal page soon. Thanks for all of your past, present and future support. It means so much!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Weight Loss

During my pregnancy, I gained over 40 lbs. If I had gone full term, I'm sure I would have gained over 50 lbs. LOL! Well, two months later I have lost 30 lbs and wore regular jeans yesterday for the first time. Yay!



Wednesday, January 23, 2013

So, I think we finally got a handle on what's wrong with my husband. We believe that he has inappropriate sinus tachycardia or IST. It can often be hard to control, however, sometimes it will go away on its own. He was started on beta blockers and we're praying that it helps. During this whole ordeal, we also learned that his cholesterol is 235 and his triglycerides are over 470! So, we'll be making quite a few lifestyle changes around here. Happy to finally have some answers and get him on his way to feeling better.

Wednesday, January. 23, 2013

Good news is that Abigail's face has really cleared up. Not sure if the acne ran its course or if the detergent/soap change contributed. Now I just wish I knew why Abigail was so unhappy all of the time. She is either eating or crying. I remember Olivia ( other than her witching hour ) being a happier baby. Olivia was always laying on blankets on the floor. Abigail lasts 5 minutes when put down while awake before she starts screaming. I have been giving her an extra bottle of formula per day. She will nurse for 2 hours, take a 4 oz bottle and nurse some more. I just can't quite keep up with her. I did order some fenugreek to see if that helps my supply. Isn't it ironic that I have one child who doesn't eat and another who eats all of the time?

Monday, January 21, 2013

And here I was asking all of you for advice about breastfeeding. . .guess I should just ask Olivia. Pink Gogum seems pretty happy. Hahaha! We were watching a movie, I looked over and this is what I saw. :)

Two months

Abigail turned 2 months old on January 20th. She weighs a little over 9 lbs.



Sunday, January 20, 2013

Breastfeeding Advice?

Okay, so I did something that you are not supposed to do. . . I supplemented with formula. Not that formula is bad, but I know once you start supplementing, you'll never keep up with your baby. For the past week or so, Abigail has started getting really mad while nursing. I think she's getting impatient waiting for the second let down when a bottle provides a constant flow. And I can tell that she is just so hungry. And for the first time since we brought her home, she lost weight. ( I weigh her every other day.) So, after nursing her for 30 minutes and having her scream, I fed her a bottle that she sucked dry. Then, she happily continued nursing. I'm not sure how to increase my supply other than nursing, pumping and drinking water. I'm trying to relax and sleep as much as I can, but i don't have a lot of control over that. The other day, she literally nursed from 10:30 am to 3 pm. And THAT didn't even seem to help. So any advice to boost my supply? I planned on nursing her for a full year, but I don't know how I'm going to keep up. She is an eating machine! LOL! She's also 2 months old today and about 9 lbs. But, I'll have the official picture posted another day. But this is how happy she is with a full tummy! And in the second picture, you can tell her sister has been playing with her. :)